If we could just give a little,
and forgive a little,
stand still a little,
just chill a little,
Be alive a little,
and strive a little,
to plan a little,
to take a stand, a little,
Don't hang your head a little,
make your bed a little,
reach down a little,
stand your ground a little
Find your heart a little,
a fresh start, a little,
to look deep a little,
inside peeps a little,
Reach their soul a little,
find your soul a little,
and discover a little.
we're all aligned. a little,
to make a whole new world.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
REQUIEM AFTER A WEDDING
Odd Title.
How Jon can you have a requiem after a wedding? Wedding's are life affirming. Weddings are about beginnings and the future, not the past. Weddings are about completion, making a half, whole. Certainly you're not mourning your own wedding, are you, you dork?
Calm down dear reader in my head, my wedding was wonderful. The people in attendance were of the highest caliber. The wedding party was made of the best friends anyone could ask for. And my wife is as lovely a woman as there is on this planet.
All events great or small conjure memories from the past; people gone too soon you wish could have witnessed it and the surprises that come from, in no small part, the people you believed at your core would be in your life for this moment and sadly are not.
I lost a friend recently. And when I say lost, I don't mean that as in he departed this world. No, we departed each other's lives. It's often hard to admit that while these kinds of transitions happen all the time in the world every day that one particular loss or another can have such an effect on a person.
For those that remained at my wedding, they heard me point out that we as humans rarely get to see the affect of our actions: our kindnesses, our impetuousness, our abruptness...we almost never see the outcome of our words or actions. In the case of my wedding, we were seeing just that, as Amy's friend had emailed my profile to her on an online site and that's what led to us finding each other. The point was this was a rarity, and we rarely understand how we affect other people daily. A kind word there, a terse word there, they all have an impact that compound into each person's mood over the course of days, weeks and months.
When you lose a friend you expected to be a part of your ceremony, to be there with you for such a defining moment in your life, the loss is even greater. There are people whom you come in contact with that are blinded by their own genius. Let me tell you, this guy is funny. I've met some funny people in my life, but he was a genius at it. Quickest wit I've ever heard... he was always one of the first to the punch, and more often than not it was cleverer than I ever was without forethought.
As a creative type who has yet to be "discovered," I think I felt a kindred spirit of sorts in our mutual struggles with business politics, the powers that be always choosing the bottom line over the people that got them the bottom line to begin with, and our love of sports, live or online. The bummer about knowing your talent lies in the written or spoken word is that the people you have to often go through to get the masses to see it don't even have time to read it. Sometimes they don't read it at all, instead relegating it to someone younger who can't even understand it. Sometimes, they just want their weekend to be a weekend, and not full of reading. And the more you write, the less excited you get sometimes about it, knowing the steps you have to take before you'll ever get any sort of readership. You work a marketing job, you complete a campaign, and you see your work out there. You write a book or script, and most times no one gets to see how much work you put in. And the creative juices start to falter in the frustration.
Women might not understand that coupled up men don't have many relationships often where they get on the phone with their friends and talk, shoot the breeze, and do it for more than a five minute typical call of --- "Hey, wanna grab a beer?", "OK." Certainly, our calls with another guy don't often last more than 10 minutes tops. My calls with this guy never involved a beer -- they just involved funny. Everything was funny. Nothing was off limits and all of it was hilarious. That's what I remember and cherished; truly free speech about all sorts of things and for me ideas seemed to burst forth from my cluttered mind out of these conversations and all things seemed possible again.
For me, our abrupt parting of the ways was like a death in the family. And I miss him. I miss our mutual trips to visit each other. I miss our yearly trips to ball games. I miss the creative infusion of possibility; the geyser of ideas that would spring to mind was something that I always felt was a most cherished gift I received nearly every time we spoke. I loved him like I would a brother - I rooted for him, cheered for him, and wanted to introduce him to every person I knew as my friend. It was a friendship I was proud to have.
At some point in all our lives we outgrow friendships, or we just decide we've had enough, and we plow forward, leaving all of it behind. However, if it is true we are the combination of all of our experiences, then every person that comes into our lives has some sort of effect on us, be it positive or negative. And they leave and/or fill vacancies that our family and spouses can't. Friendships that provide something for a sustained period of time are indeed special, and their vacancy isn't easily filled like an empty parking spot. Even when we know they are now in the past, some vacancies just aren't filled, and taking the time to remember that is apropos, as sometimes it is a way of acknowledging our feelings as being OK to have, even if they may not have been returned the way we wished it.
So my requiem is for that vacancy in my life that he once filled. It hasn't been refilled, and it may never be.
But I'm still better for it.
How Jon can you have a requiem after a wedding? Wedding's are life affirming. Weddings are about beginnings and the future, not the past. Weddings are about completion, making a half, whole. Certainly you're not mourning your own wedding, are you, you dork?
Calm down dear reader in my head, my wedding was wonderful. The people in attendance were of the highest caliber. The wedding party was made of the best friends anyone could ask for. And my wife is as lovely a woman as there is on this planet.
All events great or small conjure memories from the past; people gone too soon you wish could have witnessed it and the surprises that come from, in no small part, the people you believed at your core would be in your life for this moment and sadly are not.
I lost a friend recently. And when I say lost, I don't mean that as in he departed this world. No, we departed each other's lives. It's often hard to admit that while these kinds of transitions happen all the time in the world every day that one particular loss or another can have such an effect on a person.
For those that remained at my wedding, they heard me point out that we as humans rarely get to see the affect of our actions: our kindnesses, our impetuousness, our abruptness...we almost never see the outcome of our words or actions. In the case of my wedding, we were seeing just that, as Amy's friend had emailed my profile to her on an online site and that's what led to us finding each other. The point was this was a rarity, and we rarely understand how we affect other people daily. A kind word there, a terse word there, they all have an impact that compound into each person's mood over the course of days, weeks and months.
When you lose a friend you expected to be a part of your ceremony, to be there with you for such a defining moment in your life, the loss is even greater. There are people whom you come in contact with that are blinded by their own genius. Let me tell you, this guy is funny. I've met some funny people in my life, but he was a genius at it. Quickest wit I've ever heard... he was always one of the first to the punch, and more often than not it was cleverer than I ever was without forethought.
As a creative type who has yet to be "discovered," I think I felt a kindred spirit of sorts in our mutual struggles with business politics, the powers that be always choosing the bottom line over the people that got them the bottom line to begin with, and our love of sports, live or online. The bummer about knowing your talent lies in the written or spoken word is that the people you have to often go through to get the masses to see it don't even have time to read it. Sometimes they don't read it at all, instead relegating it to someone younger who can't even understand it. Sometimes, they just want their weekend to be a weekend, and not full of reading. And the more you write, the less excited you get sometimes about it, knowing the steps you have to take before you'll ever get any sort of readership. You work a marketing job, you complete a campaign, and you see your work out there. You write a book or script, and most times no one gets to see how much work you put in. And the creative juices start to falter in the frustration.
Women might not understand that coupled up men don't have many relationships often where they get on the phone with their friends and talk, shoot the breeze, and do it for more than a five minute typical call of --- "Hey, wanna grab a beer?", "OK." Certainly, our calls with another guy don't often last more than 10 minutes tops. My calls with this guy never involved a beer -- they just involved funny. Everything was funny. Nothing was off limits and all of it was hilarious. That's what I remember and cherished; truly free speech about all sorts of things and for me ideas seemed to burst forth from my cluttered mind out of these conversations and all things seemed possible again.
For me, our abrupt parting of the ways was like a death in the family. And I miss him. I miss our mutual trips to visit each other. I miss our yearly trips to ball games. I miss the creative infusion of possibility; the geyser of ideas that would spring to mind was something that I always felt was a most cherished gift I received nearly every time we spoke. I loved him like I would a brother - I rooted for him, cheered for him, and wanted to introduce him to every person I knew as my friend. It was a friendship I was proud to have.
At some point in all our lives we outgrow friendships, or we just decide we've had enough, and we plow forward, leaving all of it behind. However, if it is true we are the combination of all of our experiences, then every person that comes into our lives has some sort of effect on us, be it positive or negative. And they leave and/or fill vacancies that our family and spouses can't. Friendships that provide something for a sustained period of time are indeed special, and their vacancy isn't easily filled like an empty parking spot. Even when we know they are now in the past, some vacancies just aren't filled, and taking the time to remember that is apropos, as sometimes it is a way of acknowledging our feelings as being OK to have, even if they may not have been returned the way we wished it.
So my requiem is for that vacancy in my life that he once filled. It hasn't been refilled, and it may never be.
But I'm still better for it.
Monday, February 28, 2011
NO AWARDS TO THE ACADEMY SHOW
The deterioration of the Academy Awards show was as evident as writer Bruce Vlanch's career on the Hollywood Squares. Vlanch served again as a writer for the show, a credit I'm sure he'd wish to expunge from his resume. Long-time television awards producer Don Mischer was supposed to skew towards a younger demographic -- let's hope our youth are better than this.
The opening sequence, an homage to Billy Crystal's montage wherein he inserted himself into every Best Picture nominee, saw our novice hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway searching for hosting tips in Alec Baldwin's dreams. Suffice it to say, our hosts emerged the worse for wear. While the opening worked because it allowed Hathaway and Franco to call on their strengths, acting for a camera, their ability to transfer this quality to live-action television came across as overly sycophantic, boorish and occasionally just plain uncomfortable.
Never in recent memory while an audience was riding the awards show train have their been so many nail-biting thoughts that it might literally derail. From their opening monologue which the writers thought it wise to include the "new hip hosts" parents and grandparents, to where Anne sang a rewritten version of "On My Own" from Les Miserables which she sang to her former dance partner on the show, Hugh Jackman (even the song turned 'punny' calling him a "JACK-ass" so the audience could get who she was singing to) to James Franco waltzing on stage as a woman, the amount of discomfort apparent in this awards show peaked early and never recovered.
Everyone can applaud the Academy and its producing team for wanting to honor a legendary presence like Kirk Douglas with an award presentation, but am I the only one who felt that segment was stripped of any of its legs the longer it hobbled on. Age and its detractions have made Douglas a shell of the force he once was, and I, for one, sank into a mournful repose at time when I should have been edge of my seat for what has been historically the upset category of the Awards Show. Douglas, showing some of his humor and verve with his repeated delay of the Best Supporting Actress announcement was funny once, or even twice, but by the third and fourth time I became worried I might actually die before he does. This was only made worse by Melissa Leo's acceptance speech, a bizarre mix of expletives, actual shock and overacting. Leo then stepped back after making the audience re-think their votes and nearly backed over the fragile Douglas, stole his cane to make it even clearer to us the shock was so great she needed help off the stage, none of which went over well.
Included in this morass of a presentation show, was some sort of tribute that seemed as lost as its hosts. Occasionally references to the first show, past moments, etc., were brought to the forefront, the most awkward of which was the tribute to Best Original Score. The orchestra took center stage and of all the pieces it decided to honor, they chose Star Wars, ET, and other John Williams fare, before wrapping up with a small moment of West Side Story. I'm all for young and hip, but it should never mean forgetting the tried and true. Considering Star Wars is 44 this year, perhaps there is a historical element to it, but what about scores from Fiddler on the Roof, Dr. Zhivago, and The Good, The Bad & The Ugly? What about any Hitchcock film? As with most of these attempts to recount history, nearly all seemed out of place and clunky.
Then the writers got the brilliant idea to pay tribute to Bob Hope. It's never a smart choice in the face of two struggling hosts clearly out of their element to present the audience with a reminder of what a true master of ceremonies looks like. Hope's appearance made us all nostalgic not only for those older shows, but for older hosts as well. It was one of the few endearing moments of the show, and digital technology allowed the show's production team to have Bob introduce Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law.
Unfortunately, after the presenters, come the speeches. How about those speeches huh? I think the most memorable speech was uttered by Luke Methany who won for his live-action short, and after bounding down the aisle, his untidy afro obscuring the cameras from seeing his face. He smartly began by saying he should have gotten a haircut. Natalie Portman, gorgeous as always, wandered aimlessly after thanking everyone but her limo driver. Colin Firth, his diction and lexicon tapped adroitly as he elaborated about how he might uncontrollably break into dance, would have been better served if he had.
It's like they say, crazy people don't know they're crazy, funny people don't say they're funny, and hip people don't need to remind us that their hip. This show struggled from the one thing movies are supposed be apt at doing, showing, not telling. Instead of showing us the light, Hathaway and Franco simply told us about it, and the recipients seemed determined to follow suit.
The opening sequence, an homage to Billy Crystal's montage wherein he inserted himself into every Best Picture nominee, saw our novice hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway searching for hosting tips in Alec Baldwin's dreams. Suffice it to say, our hosts emerged the worse for wear. While the opening worked because it allowed Hathaway and Franco to call on their strengths, acting for a camera, their ability to transfer this quality to live-action television came across as overly sycophantic, boorish and occasionally just plain uncomfortable.
Never in recent memory while an audience was riding the awards show train have their been so many nail-biting thoughts that it might literally derail. From their opening monologue which the writers thought it wise to include the "new hip hosts" parents and grandparents, to where Anne sang a rewritten version of "On My Own" from Les Miserables which she sang to her former dance partner on the show, Hugh Jackman (even the song turned 'punny' calling him a "JACK-ass" so the audience could get who she was singing to) to James Franco waltzing on stage as a woman, the amount of discomfort apparent in this awards show peaked early and never recovered.
Everyone can applaud the Academy and its producing team for wanting to honor a legendary presence like Kirk Douglas with an award presentation, but am I the only one who felt that segment was stripped of any of its legs the longer it hobbled on. Age and its detractions have made Douglas a shell of the force he once was, and I, for one, sank into a mournful repose at time when I should have been edge of my seat for what has been historically the upset category of the Awards Show. Douglas, showing some of his humor and verve with his repeated delay of the Best Supporting Actress announcement was funny once, or even twice, but by the third and fourth time I became worried I might actually die before he does. This was only made worse by Melissa Leo's acceptance speech, a bizarre mix of expletives, actual shock and overacting. Leo then stepped back after making the audience re-think their votes and nearly backed over the fragile Douglas, stole his cane to make it even clearer to us the shock was so great she needed help off the stage, none of which went over well.
Included in this morass of a presentation show, was some sort of tribute that seemed as lost as its hosts. Occasionally references to the first show, past moments, etc., were brought to the forefront, the most awkward of which was the tribute to Best Original Score. The orchestra took center stage and of all the pieces it decided to honor, they chose Star Wars, ET, and other John Williams fare, before wrapping up with a small moment of West Side Story. I'm all for young and hip, but it should never mean forgetting the tried and true. Considering Star Wars is 44 this year, perhaps there is a historical element to it, but what about scores from Fiddler on the Roof, Dr. Zhivago, and The Good, The Bad & The Ugly? What about any Hitchcock film? As with most of these attempts to recount history, nearly all seemed out of place and clunky.
Then the writers got the brilliant idea to pay tribute to Bob Hope. It's never a smart choice in the face of two struggling hosts clearly out of their element to present the audience with a reminder of what a true master of ceremonies looks like. Hope's appearance made us all nostalgic not only for those older shows, but for older hosts as well. It was one of the few endearing moments of the show, and digital technology allowed the show's production team to have Bob introduce Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law.
Unfortunately, after the presenters, come the speeches. How about those speeches huh? I think the most memorable speech was uttered by Luke Methany who won for his live-action short, and after bounding down the aisle, his untidy afro obscuring the cameras from seeing his face. He smartly began by saying he should have gotten a haircut. Natalie Portman, gorgeous as always, wandered aimlessly after thanking everyone but her limo driver. Colin Firth, his diction and lexicon tapped adroitly as he elaborated about how he might uncontrollably break into dance, would have been better served if he had.
It's like they say, crazy people don't know they're crazy, funny people don't say they're funny, and hip people don't need to remind us that their hip. This show struggled from the one thing movies are supposed be apt at doing, showing, not telling. Instead of showing us the light, Hathaway and Franco simply told us about it, and the recipients seemed determined to follow suit.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
IF LINCOLN WERE ALIVE TODAY
My fiance' and I were discussing the idea of children and what to tell a child who dreams big. It's not as easy a topic as it might first seem. When is it OK to tell a child his/her dreams are not realistic? Or is it ever OK, because isn't every child as they grow up going to decide for him or herself what works and make decisions accordingly. And if you step on those dreams early, will they even try? It's a conundrum because I assume all parents want to protect their children from the pain associated with failure, from the experience of having your hopes dashed.
Even more disturbing when taking this all into consideration is the fact that the rules have truly changed. Even if you are the best or the smartest, are you going to be judged on who you are and what you do? Or are you going to be judged on the juiciest piece of gossip released about you? You may scoff, but I ask you, are you going to remember any of the good things John Edwards did in his public life or that he cheated on his wife and fathered another child while his wife was ill?
So how do you encourage a child's dreams while letting them in on the world's realities? In most cases, I don't think preventing someone from experiencing things to avoid disappointment is something parents should do.
There was a sermon delivered recently by a Rabbi, who told of a non-Jewish man who came to services and witnessed the High Priest performing the rites, dressed in extraordinary beautiful garb, and decided he wanted to be a high priest (known in Judaism as a Kohane Gadol). He went to the Rabbi and told him his desires and the Rabbi informed him the studies he would have to undertake to get there. The man immediately delved into his study, and converted to Judaism. He worked day and night and became skilled and adept in his studies of Jewish law and tradition. Then, after several years, he came to a point in his studies where he learned on his own that it was impossible for a convert or anyone not descended from Aaron to become a high priest in Judaism. He was angered. He went to the Rabbi and asked him why he didn't inform him of this limitation when he first approached him. The Rabbi replied to him with a question of his own, "Was he unhappy in the conversion and the studies he had undertook?" The man replied, "No, he was not." And the Rabbi responded, "Well if I had told you your dream was impossible, then you might not have even tried, and then you wouldn't be where you are today."
I started thinking about one of our greatest Presidents, Abraham Lincoln. Here is a man, who were he alive today, probably wouldn't have a prayer of winning the White House, and for all the wrong reasons. First and foremost, the press would have invaded his past and found that growing up he had one year of formal schooling or so. He also suffered depression after losing a rumored love to typhoid fever, and according to this article in the Atlantic he contemplated suicide several times. Several people thought Lincoln had lost his marbles.
Could any such man, after the release of this information to the public, become President? Could they become much of anything? Should someone have told Lincoln his dreams of running for President after losing his second shot at the Senate was impractical albeit stupid? Wouldn't we step on that very man now and tell him how silly he would be?
I am profoundly amazed at how much faith we as humans place in gossip and in the past. So quickly we are willing to act as judge, jury and arbiter for cases that have little to do with us, while insisting we should get fair treatment should ever that occasion befall us. We act as if the past as an indictment, rather than a case for study. In fact, I would argue that while our school education serves us, it doesn't measure at all up to the experience we gain simply by prevailing and failing, by loving and losing or by falling off the horse and getting up to ride again. And yet, we are presented with the dilemma of whether we let our children experience those same lessons.
We are apt to complain ad nauseum about our leaders, particularly our Presidents, but then wonder why few who run meet the criteria we would demand. I would conjecture that the reason someone as uneducated and occasionally clueless about the government as Sarah Palin as can run a successful campaign (and by successful, I mean even get mentioned as a potential Presidential candidate) is twofold:
1) she has learned the most important thing in today's society; that the collective knowledge gained about her actual credibility can be thrust aft with the proper delivery and diction. In other words, what she lacks in knowledge of fact, she has gained in knowledge of human behavior. Never mind she is a stringent Christian who preaches how people should lead their lives and parent their children, all while her own daughter's choices in life would be something she would condemn in other parents. The proper presentation can and will make people forget the contradictory dichotomy of what she says versus what she does; and
2) we trust our eyes so much, we would be deceived in an instant by a witch in sheep's clothing. Could William Howard Taft have won President at his size today? Doubt it. What about FDR - particularly after polio struck?
The world today likely would have voided all of Lincoln's profound attributes because of the trifles that affected his day-to-day function. Yet no man, sans a select few, has ever impacted a country more than Abraham Lincoln.
Dare I tell my child because he gets too heavy or suffers from the same mental problems Lincoln did, that his dreams are unrealistic, not necessarily because his parents deem them so but because society will see fit to selectively pick and remember what matters not, over what matters most? Should I stoop so low as to be teaching them the art of media manipulation -- using the press to deliver controlled propaganda to an uneducated public to get what they want?
My hope is a future Abraham Lincoln can and will be elected. And that our kids can learn to dream again that based on what they do, not what they look like, or what mistakes they make in their past, is on what they will be judged.
We can't step in and prevent our children from making mistakes, no matter how hard we try. In fact, while we can offer guidance, I'd argue, as I did with my soon-to-be wife, that it is not the job of parents to take away dreams, but instead present opportunities. It is our job to teach responsibility and encourage imagination and ideas. My hope is someday that included in every school curriculum from a young age will be a MEDIA LITERACY mandate serving to teach our kids how to handle the new world in front of them, so that they can interpret that which they are spoon fed. But if not in schools, then it becomes our job to teach them how to read media, much like you teach them how to read books. Honestly, my hope is my kid doesn't seek to become the next Snooki or Beverly Hills housewife or Khardashian sister as a form of fulfilling a dream because I don't know what that goal is.
I refer back to the sermon above, where a man's decision to become a High Priest was based solely on witnessing the surface of the priest's tasks, without understanding the core and responsibility of such a position. It speaks to the fact that we as humans are impressed easily with what someone else has and this is a common problem amongst young people. The difference here is that the Rabbi instructed the man how he had to go about such a task and the man did so and discovered things his own way.
It becomes our job to act more as monitors I suppose, and to explain the kind of misplaced celebrity that occurs today in the vein of things aren't always fair. However, I believe that youngsters particularly must learn it's OK to dream big, in order to keep their imaginations with them as the harsh realities of the world settle in over time.
Despite Lincoln's hardships, he never stopped believing he had something to accomplish. And my hope is as long as we as parents can provide that hope in our children, they will never stop trying.
Even more disturbing when taking this all into consideration is the fact that the rules have truly changed. Even if you are the best or the smartest, are you going to be judged on who you are and what you do? Or are you going to be judged on the juiciest piece of gossip released about you? You may scoff, but I ask you, are you going to remember any of the good things John Edwards did in his public life or that he cheated on his wife and fathered another child while his wife was ill?
So how do you encourage a child's dreams while letting them in on the world's realities? In most cases, I don't think preventing someone from experiencing things to avoid disappointment is something parents should do.
There was a sermon delivered recently by a Rabbi, who told of a non-Jewish man who came to services and witnessed the High Priest performing the rites, dressed in extraordinary beautiful garb, and decided he wanted to be a high priest (known in Judaism as a Kohane Gadol). He went to the Rabbi and told him his desires and the Rabbi informed him the studies he would have to undertake to get there. The man immediately delved into his study, and converted to Judaism. He worked day and night and became skilled and adept in his studies of Jewish law and tradition. Then, after several years, he came to a point in his studies where he learned on his own that it was impossible for a convert or anyone not descended from Aaron to become a high priest in Judaism. He was angered. He went to the Rabbi and asked him why he didn't inform him of this limitation when he first approached him. The Rabbi replied to him with a question of his own, "Was he unhappy in the conversion and the studies he had undertook?" The man replied, "No, he was not." And the Rabbi responded, "Well if I had told you your dream was impossible, then you might not have even tried, and then you wouldn't be where you are today."
I started thinking about one of our greatest Presidents, Abraham Lincoln. Here is a man, who were he alive today, probably wouldn't have a prayer of winning the White House, and for all the wrong reasons. First and foremost, the press would have invaded his past and found that growing up he had one year of formal schooling or so. He also suffered depression after losing a rumored love to typhoid fever, and according to this article in the Atlantic he contemplated suicide several times. Several people thought Lincoln had lost his marbles.
Could any such man, after the release of this information to the public, become President? Could they become much of anything? Should someone have told Lincoln his dreams of running for President after losing his second shot at the Senate was impractical albeit stupid? Wouldn't we step on that very man now and tell him how silly he would be?
I am profoundly amazed at how much faith we as humans place in gossip and in the past. So quickly we are willing to act as judge, jury and arbiter for cases that have little to do with us, while insisting we should get fair treatment should ever that occasion befall us. We act as if the past as an indictment, rather than a case for study. In fact, I would argue that while our school education serves us, it doesn't measure at all up to the experience we gain simply by prevailing and failing, by loving and losing or by falling off the horse and getting up to ride again. And yet, we are presented with the dilemma of whether we let our children experience those same lessons.
We are apt to complain ad nauseum about our leaders, particularly our Presidents, but then wonder why few who run meet the criteria we would demand. I would conjecture that the reason someone as uneducated and occasionally clueless about the government as Sarah Palin as can run a successful campaign (and by successful, I mean even get mentioned as a potential Presidential candidate) is twofold:
1) she has learned the most important thing in today's society; that the collective knowledge gained about her actual credibility can be thrust aft with the proper delivery and diction. In other words, what she lacks in knowledge of fact, she has gained in knowledge of human behavior. Never mind she is a stringent Christian who preaches how people should lead their lives and parent their children, all while her own daughter's choices in life would be something she would condemn in other parents. The proper presentation can and will make people forget the contradictory dichotomy of what she says versus what she does; and
2) we trust our eyes so much, we would be deceived in an instant by a witch in sheep's clothing. Could William Howard Taft have won President at his size today? Doubt it. What about FDR - particularly after polio struck?
The world today likely would have voided all of Lincoln's profound attributes because of the trifles that affected his day-to-day function. Yet no man, sans a select few, has ever impacted a country more than Abraham Lincoln.
Dare I tell my child because he gets too heavy or suffers from the same mental problems Lincoln did, that his dreams are unrealistic, not necessarily because his parents deem them so but because society will see fit to selectively pick and remember what matters not, over what matters most? Should I stoop so low as to be teaching them the art of media manipulation -- using the press to deliver controlled propaganda to an uneducated public to get what they want?
My hope is a future Abraham Lincoln can and will be elected. And that our kids can learn to dream again that based on what they do, not what they look like, or what mistakes they make in their past, is on what they will be judged.
We can't step in and prevent our children from making mistakes, no matter how hard we try. In fact, while we can offer guidance, I'd argue, as I did with my soon-to-be wife, that it is not the job of parents to take away dreams, but instead present opportunities. It is our job to teach responsibility and encourage imagination and ideas. My hope is someday that included in every school curriculum from a young age will be a MEDIA LITERACY mandate serving to teach our kids how to handle the new world in front of them, so that they can interpret that which they are spoon fed. But if not in schools, then it becomes our job to teach them how to read media, much like you teach them how to read books. Honestly, my hope is my kid doesn't seek to become the next Snooki or Beverly Hills housewife or Khardashian sister as a form of fulfilling a dream because I don't know what that goal is.
I refer back to the sermon above, where a man's decision to become a High Priest was based solely on witnessing the surface of the priest's tasks, without understanding the core and responsibility of such a position. It speaks to the fact that we as humans are impressed easily with what someone else has and this is a common problem amongst young people. The difference here is that the Rabbi instructed the man how he had to go about such a task and the man did so and discovered things his own way.
It becomes our job to act more as monitors I suppose, and to explain the kind of misplaced celebrity that occurs today in the vein of things aren't always fair. However, I believe that youngsters particularly must learn it's OK to dream big, in order to keep their imaginations with them as the harsh realities of the world settle in over time.
Despite Lincoln's hardships, he never stopped believing he had something to accomplish. And my hope is as long as we as parents can provide that hope in our children, they will never stop trying.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
PAST BLOG
After the troubling events of this past weekend in Tucson, Arizona, and the blog I posted yesterday, I found myself doing what I normally do after shocking events: searching for reasons to believe in people again. I found a past blog I wrote when I was blogging on MYSPACE -- a piece done as a recollection of a month I had spent in Israel. Perhaps I write a bit didactic at times, and maybe a bit overreaching, but I remember my return well and how enlightening going to a country of such high tension can be. Anyway, I hope you'll read and enjoy.
Jan 3, 2009
JERUSALEM - DAY 29
Every story has to have an ending, right? So here I am, sitting in Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv. It seems fitting with my impending return to be for the first time in a month eating American food. That's right, I'm eating McDonald's in Israel. I ordered a McRoyal. Let me tell you, it's McWeird. Either they misunderstood me when I ordered it, or they just like their burgers hot and spicy, because this thing is burning my face off. However, I thought it was just the burger until I ate the fries. There's something on them too that seems to be just as spicy. So it just goes to show that McDonald's is screwed up in every country equally. The difference is here I have Russian immigrant custodial workers speaking on one side of me and everyone else speaking Hebrew on the other. Surreal. However, in American fashion, I'm quite sure my food here will have the same effects on my insides as in the U.S. too. Come to think of it, maybe this is how they sell their ice cream. Makes sense. Give someone so much acid that they have to purchase a base, or their flight will be miserable.
However, the most humorous thing about the McDonald's at the airport here are the garbage cans that say 'THANK YOU' when you drop your trash in. I was expecting Todah, the Hebrew word for thanks. It would have been much cooler. Then I realized McDonald's is totally American and there's no way any garbage can manufacturer for this franchise would know the Hebrew word for thanks. It probably came from China anyway.
I look back on this trip and realize there are so many experiences that were amazing. I know I've learned so much. One thing I've learned is that Israel brings out many emotions for many different people. And when you leave it, it has a pull that makes you consider why you're going.
Upon my departure from America, I received an email from a frequent Israeli traveler which bestowed upon me the wisdom of 'never trust an Arab.' I often wonder how they'd feel hearing that the only person who tried to rip me off was a Jewish cab driver in Tel Aviv, even with the meter on.
I know that there are things about Israel that are impossible to represent until you've been here. Initially, you can't help but feel really out of place, even if you are Jewish. It's truly a foreign country – different languages, multiple religions (and within those religions, various degrees of sects with different intensities) and tons of culture. And in Jerusalem, those cultures are pushed so close together, it's understandable at times the clash that occurs. Can you imagine the Crusaders or the Turkish invaders coming into the Old City of Jerusalem to find the Jewish, Christian, Armenian and Muslim quarters of the old city living side by side? I think the Crusaders particularly would feel like they wasted a lot of time, energy and death for nothing.
A lot of the American media paints the people over here as savages; that death is somehow a daily part of their lives and thus, they get used to it. No one gets used it. Not Jew, nor Muslim. And the pain they feel is so deep at times in this atmosphere they never fully seem to let it go.
I've learned that for some Palestinians, land is something that is valued beyond anything Americans can understand; so much so that if all the jobs and money left their home town and relocated to a town just five miles north, they still wouldn't move. Imagine if you will the city of Flint, Michigan, where the auto industry decline left that city in a complete mess. If Flint had been full of Palestinian Christians and Muslims, it'd still be jam packed, and the population would actually be increasing. It's not something we understand. And most Jews aren't this way. They're too dang practical, unless you speak about the ultra ultra orthodox. These folks don't read anything but the scriptures and their interpretations. So while they may get on an airplane to go to New York, many of them have never read a book that ever mentioned flight before. And they wouldn't even care about the science that went into creating it. Yes, even on the Jewish side, things can bad.
None of us are perfect, but in our own minds we like to think we always do our best. And from our own point of view, we are doing what is right, what we know would work for us. And because it will work for us, we often believe it will work for the other person. That's where we fail. The other person isn't us. They don't necessarily have one iota of the same experiences we had, nor react the same way with the same emotions to what we do. I've learned, and had to remind myself over and over on this trip, that it's time we stop doing --- it's time we stop talking. It's time to listen.
The amazing gift that listening offers cannot be measured. If you think I'm full of it, next time you sit with someone, look them in the eye while they're talking and really listen. Turn off the cell phone and cut out the other distractions. Just listen. Not only will you realize you often miss things about the person you thought you knew, but you'll also notice that they will be really engaged with you. And they will feel connected to you in ways I don't think many of us realize anymore.
This is why the policies of engagement for me, no matter who you're engaging – enemy or otherwise – is much better than the policy of isolation. Isolation leads to the other form of engagement – that with weaponry. We've had that engagement time after time in history, and rarely has there been a true winner. The only way there's a winner in a war is if you just simply devalue human life. If you can say, "well heck, only 40 people died, that's nothing,'" and you can be OK with that justification, I think you seriously need to reconsider your language. Because to a mother who lost her son as one of those 40 it's so much more than nothing. When you've seen your battalion torn apart, and amongst the body count were some of your friends who were defending their right to live peacefully, it's so much more than nothing. And when your family was forced into a refugee camp, and your mother's brother died because no medical attention was available, it's so much more than nothing.
I've learned that this is one of America's giant problems. We've learned to get along with death in a way that's really quite odd. It's in our movies, our TV shows, and our daily lives. We've learned to fictionalize it and ignore it until it deals a direct blow to one of our family members. Then, and often only then, do we speak out against the things that are unjust and cause such tragedies. In its place, we've filled our lives with stuff – countless items that neither fulfill nor redeem us. If they did, we wouldn't always be looking for the next sale. I say this after staying with what would have been considered a rich family by their villages' standards – a family that has no central heating, and worries about the electric bill when they run their space heaters too much. This same family's values mean that Christmas gifts for their four young cousins means a chocolate Santa, a balloon and some gum. And the cousins don't complain about it. They smile at it, maybe because their father lost his job. Or maybe because they know it took an effort for their other cousin to put it together for them. I honestly can't imagine any American child who wouldn't be crushed by such a small gift these days, and for that I'm embarrassed.
Israel makes you appreciate your country even more. And I do appreciate the amazing freedom and opportunity our country provides. It truly is second to none. But staying for a while also allows you to realize how caught up we've become in crap that means absolutely nothing: the cool car, the coolest electronic device, the best dress or suit, or the highest paid contract. Try to use any of those things to keep you warm and loved during a winter's night. If you can do that, I'll be very impressed.
With America's economy hurting, Israel hurts more. There's an old saying that when America's economy coughs, it's Israel's economy that catches the cold. Everyone is feeling it here. So when you consider that the average Palestinian Arab makes $800 a year, you have to wonder just how they manage dealing with the basics. Never mind worrying about the political officials trying to screw them left and right. If they get a warm house and job out of the deal, you can bet they'll elect anyone.
Yes, this is didactic, but it's the end of a month long examination. And what kind of a writer would I be if I didn't end it with some sort of conclusions and realizations? What kind of a writer would I be if I didn't make you think even for a second?
But I don't want to leave you just thinking. I want to leave you with some optimism. I want to leave you smiling. I want you to feel like that if you got up and danced in the middle of your workplace right now just because you felt like doing it, people wouldn't laugh and point, they'd simply join in.
So here it is: in history, all conflicts have worked themselves out one way or another. Sometimes it was war. Sometimes it was peace. They don't go on forever. In this age where we log on to Facebook so we can connect with all of our friends with the click of a mouse, where we can find out the world's news in a split second, where we've donated millions of dollars to a cause like Live Aid over the period 24 hours, there's nothing we can't do if we try. Even with all of what I have seen and heard, and by measure it's really not that much considering how much of the country I've seen, I still believe in that hope. Even with what seems to be an impossible case of consistent miscommunication between the two parties involved (and by that I mean the people on the ground – not their governments), there is no doubt an Arab and a Jew can dine together. Even though it's not perfect, they were able to find co-existence in Northern Ireland, and Apartheid ended in South Africa. Someday this will end too.
At one point in the trip, one of the mother's said something rather simple but powerful. She said she wondered if she had somehow stopped using kind enough words with her children. That's truly a bold insight to have about oneself in front of a person you hardly know. So perhaps, all that's really needed is something simple: a little more kindness; A little less cuddling up with a television, and a little more coffee out with your friends; A little less time walking on the treadmill, and a little more time walking over to your neighbor's place to get to know him/her; A little less time spent labeling groups of whole people in fear, and a little more time approaching that which we fear to see if it's even legitimate.
As Franklin Delano Roosevelt so aptly put it, "the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
I, for one, am no longer afraid.
Jan 3, 2009
JERUSALEM - DAY 29
Every story has to have an ending, right? So here I am, sitting in Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv. It seems fitting with my impending return to be for the first time in a month eating American food. That's right, I'm eating McDonald's in Israel. I ordered a McRoyal. Let me tell you, it's McWeird. Either they misunderstood me when I ordered it, or they just like their burgers hot and spicy, because this thing is burning my face off. However, I thought it was just the burger until I ate the fries. There's something on them too that seems to be just as spicy. So it just goes to show that McDonald's is screwed up in every country equally. The difference is here I have Russian immigrant custodial workers speaking on one side of me and everyone else speaking Hebrew on the other. Surreal. However, in American fashion, I'm quite sure my food here will have the same effects on my insides as in the U.S. too. Come to think of it, maybe this is how they sell their ice cream. Makes sense. Give someone so much acid that they have to purchase a base, or their flight will be miserable.
However, the most humorous thing about the McDonald's at the airport here are the garbage cans that say 'THANK YOU' when you drop your trash in. I was expecting Todah, the Hebrew word for thanks. It would have been much cooler. Then I realized McDonald's is totally American and there's no way any garbage can manufacturer for this franchise would know the Hebrew word for thanks. It probably came from China anyway.
I look back on this trip and realize there are so many experiences that were amazing. I know I've learned so much. One thing I've learned is that Israel brings out many emotions for many different people. And when you leave it, it has a pull that makes you consider why you're going.
Upon my departure from America, I received an email from a frequent Israeli traveler which bestowed upon me the wisdom of 'never trust an Arab.' I often wonder how they'd feel hearing that the only person who tried to rip me off was a Jewish cab driver in Tel Aviv, even with the meter on.
I know that there are things about Israel that are impossible to represent until you've been here. Initially, you can't help but feel really out of place, even if you are Jewish. It's truly a foreign country – different languages, multiple religions (and within those religions, various degrees of sects with different intensities) and tons of culture. And in Jerusalem, those cultures are pushed so close together, it's understandable at times the clash that occurs. Can you imagine the Crusaders or the Turkish invaders coming into the Old City of Jerusalem to find the Jewish, Christian, Armenian and Muslim quarters of the old city living side by side? I think the Crusaders particularly would feel like they wasted a lot of time, energy and death for nothing.
A lot of the American media paints the people over here as savages; that death is somehow a daily part of their lives and thus, they get used to it. No one gets used it. Not Jew, nor Muslim. And the pain they feel is so deep at times in this atmosphere they never fully seem to let it go.
I've learned that for some Palestinians, land is something that is valued beyond anything Americans can understand; so much so that if all the jobs and money left their home town and relocated to a town just five miles north, they still wouldn't move. Imagine if you will the city of Flint, Michigan, where the auto industry decline left that city in a complete mess. If Flint had been full of Palestinian Christians and Muslims, it'd still be jam packed, and the population would actually be increasing. It's not something we understand. And most Jews aren't this way. They're too dang practical, unless you speak about the ultra ultra orthodox. These folks don't read anything but the scriptures and their interpretations. So while they may get on an airplane to go to New York, many of them have never read a book that ever mentioned flight before. And they wouldn't even care about the science that went into creating it. Yes, even on the Jewish side, things can bad.
None of us are perfect, but in our own minds we like to think we always do our best. And from our own point of view, we are doing what is right, what we know would work for us. And because it will work for us, we often believe it will work for the other person. That's where we fail. The other person isn't us. They don't necessarily have one iota of the same experiences we had, nor react the same way with the same emotions to what we do. I've learned, and had to remind myself over and over on this trip, that it's time we stop doing --- it's time we stop talking. It's time to listen.
The amazing gift that listening offers cannot be measured. If you think I'm full of it, next time you sit with someone, look them in the eye while they're talking and really listen. Turn off the cell phone and cut out the other distractions. Just listen. Not only will you realize you often miss things about the person you thought you knew, but you'll also notice that they will be really engaged with you. And they will feel connected to you in ways I don't think many of us realize anymore.
This is why the policies of engagement for me, no matter who you're engaging – enemy or otherwise – is much better than the policy of isolation. Isolation leads to the other form of engagement – that with weaponry. We've had that engagement time after time in history, and rarely has there been a true winner. The only way there's a winner in a war is if you just simply devalue human life. If you can say, "well heck, only 40 people died, that's nothing,'" and you can be OK with that justification, I think you seriously need to reconsider your language. Because to a mother who lost her son as one of those 40 it's so much more than nothing. When you've seen your battalion torn apart, and amongst the body count were some of your friends who were defending their right to live peacefully, it's so much more than nothing. And when your family was forced into a refugee camp, and your mother's brother died because no medical attention was available, it's so much more than nothing.
I've learned that this is one of America's giant problems. We've learned to get along with death in a way that's really quite odd. It's in our movies, our TV shows, and our daily lives. We've learned to fictionalize it and ignore it until it deals a direct blow to one of our family members. Then, and often only then, do we speak out against the things that are unjust and cause such tragedies. In its place, we've filled our lives with stuff – countless items that neither fulfill nor redeem us. If they did, we wouldn't always be looking for the next sale. I say this after staying with what would have been considered a rich family by their villages' standards – a family that has no central heating, and worries about the electric bill when they run their space heaters too much. This same family's values mean that Christmas gifts for their four young cousins means a chocolate Santa, a balloon and some gum. And the cousins don't complain about it. They smile at it, maybe because their father lost his job. Or maybe because they know it took an effort for their other cousin to put it together for them. I honestly can't imagine any American child who wouldn't be crushed by such a small gift these days, and for that I'm embarrassed.
Israel makes you appreciate your country even more. And I do appreciate the amazing freedom and opportunity our country provides. It truly is second to none. But staying for a while also allows you to realize how caught up we've become in crap that means absolutely nothing: the cool car, the coolest electronic device, the best dress or suit, or the highest paid contract. Try to use any of those things to keep you warm and loved during a winter's night. If you can do that, I'll be very impressed.
With America's economy hurting, Israel hurts more. There's an old saying that when America's economy coughs, it's Israel's economy that catches the cold. Everyone is feeling it here. So when you consider that the average Palestinian Arab makes $800 a year, you have to wonder just how they manage dealing with the basics. Never mind worrying about the political officials trying to screw them left and right. If they get a warm house and job out of the deal, you can bet they'll elect anyone.
Yes, this is didactic, but it's the end of a month long examination. And what kind of a writer would I be if I didn't end it with some sort of conclusions and realizations? What kind of a writer would I be if I didn't make you think even for a second?
But I don't want to leave you just thinking. I want to leave you with some optimism. I want to leave you smiling. I want you to feel like that if you got up and danced in the middle of your workplace right now just because you felt like doing it, people wouldn't laugh and point, they'd simply join in.
So here it is: in history, all conflicts have worked themselves out one way or another. Sometimes it was war. Sometimes it was peace. They don't go on forever. In this age where we log on to Facebook so we can connect with all of our friends with the click of a mouse, where we can find out the world's news in a split second, where we've donated millions of dollars to a cause like Live Aid over the period 24 hours, there's nothing we can't do if we try. Even with all of what I have seen and heard, and by measure it's really not that much considering how much of the country I've seen, I still believe in that hope. Even with what seems to be an impossible case of consistent miscommunication between the two parties involved (and by that I mean the people on the ground – not their governments), there is no doubt an Arab and a Jew can dine together. Even though it's not perfect, they were able to find co-existence in Northern Ireland, and Apartheid ended in South Africa. Someday this will end too.
At one point in the trip, one of the mother's said something rather simple but powerful. She said she wondered if she had somehow stopped using kind enough words with her children. That's truly a bold insight to have about oneself in front of a person you hardly know. So perhaps, all that's really needed is something simple: a little more kindness; A little less cuddling up with a television, and a little more coffee out with your friends; A little less time walking on the treadmill, and a little more time walking over to your neighbor's place to get to know him/her; A little less time spent labeling groups of whole people in fear, and a little more time approaching that which we fear to see if it's even legitimate.
As Franklin Delano Roosevelt so aptly put it, "the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
I, for one, am no longer afraid.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
GENERATION "KNOW"
So I'm on a conference call the other day and one of the parties involved mentioned he was suffering from the flu. Without delay, medical advice was offered up as to the various ways to ameliorate all his maladies.
"Have you taken Emergen-C?" advised one person.
"Are you drinking electrolytes cause you should be," was another pointed directive.
"Chicken Soup -- it's medically proven to help your chest and your cough."
It's not surprising people don't want any sort of mandated health care. Everyone already has their honorary doctorate from the University of "Know". We know. We do. And we're encouraged to know. Message boards are attached to every news item, as if they were up for discussion of the facts because the reporter who printed the piece wasn't quite sure. We're supposed to sound off. We're supposed to know.
And although this generation is intent on knowing things, this generation has no shortage of popular advice for everything. We have Dr. Phil on television (and had Dr. Laura on radio) to set us straight with our familial dilemmas and point us in the right direction of how to handle things morally. We have Sean Hannity and Keith Olbermann to tell us from each side of the aisle what our candidates 'really' are saying. We have Jim Cramer telling us how to make "Mad Money." We have Oprah Winfrey telling us what books are really worth reading.
And while these people supposedly tell us what we don't know, we seem to know everything else. The internet has made it possible to sort of know something about things you once knew nothing about. There's a myth that dragonflies only live for 24 hours. But because of the internet, I know that's not true. Although, there's also just as many sites it seems that don't have the correct information on that. What's wrong? How do they not know?
I had a softball coach that was a conspiracy theorist. It was kind of funny because here he was this big guy, a guy who looked like he could cause a lot more harm than have harm caused upon him, and he was certain the government was responsible for all sorts of things. He just knew. It didn't matter what proof there might be against any said argument, the fact that there were holes meant somehow the government had filled them.
It was like the people that thought President Clinton had still gotten away with some sort of massive wrongdoing even after $70 million of taxpayer money went to an investigation that uncovered Lewinsky. Of course, I would make the argument to those that just knew he had somehow escaped any sort of culpability, that really what they were saying was that Clinton was brilliant. He somehow outwitted Ken Starr and all those that wanted to see him crash to the ground...he was that good.
Now we have Arizona, where Jared Loughner had apparently become very distrustful of the government because somehow he just knew they were bad. Not unlike those in the radical Michigan militia who weave fantasies of the government invading their lives and taking away their freedom by force, Loughner appeared to be vulnerable to those that preached paranoia and hatred toward government officials. And the argument has begun as to whether the continual negative rhetoric we all know exists in the political arena has simply gone too far?
Irrespective of that is the sad realization the Loughner was certain his government was worthy of distrust; and that more to the point, Gabrielle Giffords was the administrator of that distrust worthy of the action that too many people find reasonable, that of killing.
While the left and right argue or try to point fingers at why this happened, all of them should be agreeing that responsible words might have helped someone like this. What they'd rather tell you is that Loughner was deeply disturbed, without ever questioning why someone like that is deeply disturbed? Why is someone so young intent to kill, a theme that is repeating itself over and over in this last decade, from Columbine, to the recent shooting of a Principal Vicki Kaspar in a high school in Omaha. There are now countless cases where we of Generation "Know" have decided the best way to solve problems is through horrific violence that leaves a legacy forever, albeit one tainted with bloodstains and bitterness.
Generation "Know" will now blame Loughner's parents --saying if they were on top of things, this would have never happened. This is just a bit too simplistic if you ask me. Or like we're seeing on television, what has now become the most reprehensible of media outlets, more irresponsible finger pointing by political pundits whose biggest concern is neither solving the problem nor asking the right question -- it's simply about their ratings.
So how come no one in Generation "Know" knows how to fix this? How come Generation "Know" can't solve the problem?
Because dare I say that's where Generation "Know" knows too much. We know what causes lymphoma, whether UFOs are real, how to find the gossip on the Kardashians, or who the Bachelor is dating, or how to get the best flight to St. Lucia in seconds.
What we've lost is the ability to not know something.
What we've lost is the ability to admit we don't know someone else's motives. We don't know why someone's doctor put him on those pills, or why the government chose to bail out the banks. We can guess, but we don't know. We don't know for a fact O.J. actually killed his wife. We don't know if Ben Roethlisberger raped that girl. We simply don't know, for all the hubbub and the gossip and the bogus news stories tainted with half-truths in attempts to get your ear and your viewership, we simply don't know.
What we've lost is the ability to stick with something. How many people do you listen to time and time again find a person they oh so wanted to date only to blow off that person at the first sign of flaws or imperfection? Generally this happens after having sex of course, because sex is the easy part. The temporary. The information you needed to know, while the fact that they were abused as a child or see a therapist is the part you'd rather not know.
We've lost the ability to work through conflicts while treating our foil with courtesy and respect.
We've lost the ability to be thankful. These people who serve our government like Representative Giffords do so most often than not from a feeling they can make a difference for us. Not just for them necessarily, but for us. Whether I like John Boehner or not does matter one iota because in the end he deserves the respect for trying to do what he feels is best for his constituency. And the same goes for our Presidents, who the last two decades have simply become talking head fodder for shows claiming they are reporting the news when really they're reporting whatever they wish were the news.
We've lost the ability to sit at a dinner without pulling out our phone or our blackberry to email or text. By far the rudest behavior there is (and I myself have been guilty at times) I have friends who do this so much I no longer wish to do anything with them. I don't want to compete with a computer. No one does. There's about as much friendship and intimacy in those get-togethers as I have with my television. Dare I say, more people are choosing the TV for friendship while crying foul that they don't feel connected.
What about the woman who posted her suicide attempt on Facebook and succeeded because so few people responded. They knew everything, even that she had taken pills, but did not know what to do when a human at her most critical moment needed someone to do something. How come they didn't know?
Is it any reason Loughner or the many others out there who haven't yet reached his stage of distrust, loneliness or hopelessness are disturbed? Aren't you disturbed enough yet that the job of school Principal is becoming high risk? Or that guns are so easy to get that a man like Loughner can get one with ammunition within day of killing six people?
This generation, the informational generation, the generation with all this knowledge at the touch of a button, this Generation "Know", doesn't seem to know much.
"Have you taken Emergen-C?" advised one person.
"Are you drinking electrolytes cause you should be," was another pointed directive.
"Chicken Soup -- it's medically proven to help your chest and your cough."
It's not surprising people don't want any sort of mandated health care. Everyone already has their honorary doctorate from the University of "Know". We know. We do. And we're encouraged to know. Message boards are attached to every news item, as if they were up for discussion of the facts because the reporter who printed the piece wasn't quite sure. We're supposed to sound off. We're supposed to know.
And although this generation is intent on knowing things, this generation has no shortage of popular advice for everything. We have Dr. Phil on television (and had Dr. Laura on radio) to set us straight with our familial dilemmas and point us in the right direction of how to handle things morally. We have Sean Hannity and Keith Olbermann to tell us from each side of the aisle what our candidates 'really' are saying. We have Jim Cramer telling us how to make "Mad Money." We have Oprah Winfrey telling us what books are really worth reading.
And while these people supposedly tell us what we don't know, we seem to know everything else. The internet has made it possible to sort of know something about things you once knew nothing about. There's a myth that dragonflies only live for 24 hours. But because of the internet, I know that's not true. Although, there's also just as many sites it seems that don't have the correct information on that. What's wrong? How do they not know?
I had a softball coach that was a conspiracy theorist. It was kind of funny because here he was this big guy, a guy who looked like he could cause a lot more harm than have harm caused upon him, and he was certain the government was responsible for all sorts of things. He just knew. It didn't matter what proof there might be against any said argument, the fact that there were holes meant somehow the government had filled them.
It was like the people that thought President Clinton had still gotten away with some sort of massive wrongdoing even after $70 million of taxpayer money went to an investigation that uncovered Lewinsky. Of course, I would make the argument to those that just knew he had somehow escaped any sort of culpability, that really what they were saying was that Clinton was brilliant. He somehow outwitted Ken Starr and all those that wanted to see him crash to the ground...he was that good.
Now we have Arizona, where Jared Loughner had apparently become very distrustful of the government because somehow he just knew they were bad. Not unlike those in the radical Michigan militia who weave fantasies of the government invading their lives and taking away their freedom by force, Loughner appeared to be vulnerable to those that preached paranoia and hatred toward government officials. And the argument has begun as to whether the continual negative rhetoric we all know exists in the political arena has simply gone too far?
Irrespective of that is the sad realization the Loughner was certain his government was worthy of distrust; and that more to the point, Gabrielle Giffords was the administrator of that distrust worthy of the action that too many people find reasonable, that of killing.
While the left and right argue or try to point fingers at why this happened, all of them should be agreeing that responsible words might have helped someone like this. What they'd rather tell you is that Loughner was deeply disturbed, without ever questioning why someone like that is deeply disturbed? Why is someone so young intent to kill, a theme that is repeating itself over and over in this last decade, from Columbine, to the recent shooting of a Principal Vicki Kaspar in a high school in Omaha. There are now countless cases where we of Generation "Know" have decided the best way to solve problems is through horrific violence that leaves a legacy forever, albeit one tainted with bloodstains and bitterness.
Generation "Know" will now blame Loughner's parents --saying if they were on top of things, this would have never happened. This is just a bit too simplistic if you ask me. Or like we're seeing on television, what has now become the most reprehensible of media outlets, more irresponsible finger pointing by political pundits whose biggest concern is neither solving the problem nor asking the right question -- it's simply about their ratings.
So how come no one in Generation "Know" knows how to fix this? How come Generation "Know" can't solve the problem?
Because dare I say that's where Generation "Know" knows too much. We know what causes lymphoma, whether UFOs are real, how to find the gossip on the Kardashians, or who the Bachelor is dating, or how to get the best flight to St. Lucia in seconds.
What we've lost is the ability to not know something.
What we've lost is the ability to admit we don't know someone else's motives. We don't know why someone's doctor put him on those pills, or why the government chose to bail out the banks. We can guess, but we don't know. We don't know for a fact O.J. actually killed his wife. We don't know if Ben Roethlisberger raped that girl. We simply don't know, for all the hubbub and the gossip and the bogus news stories tainted with half-truths in attempts to get your ear and your viewership, we simply don't know.
What we've lost is the ability to stick with something. How many people do you listen to time and time again find a person they oh so wanted to date only to blow off that person at the first sign of flaws or imperfection? Generally this happens after having sex of course, because sex is the easy part. The temporary. The information you needed to know, while the fact that they were abused as a child or see a therapist is the part you'd rather not know.
We've lost the ability to work through conflicts while treating our foil with courtesy and respect.
We've lost the ability to be thankful. These people who serve our government like Representative Giffords do so most often than not from a feeling they can make a difference for us. Not just for them necessarily, but for us. Whether I like John Boehner or not does matter one iota because in the end he deserves the respect for trying to do what he feels is best for his constituency. And the same goes for our Presidents, who the last two decades have simply become talking head fodder for shows claiming they are reporting the news when really they're reporting whatever they wish were the news.
We've lost the ability to sit at a dinner without pulling out our phone or our blackberry to email or text. By far the rudest behavior there is (and I myself have been guilty at times) I have friends who do this so much I no longer wish to do anything with them. I don't want to compete with a computer. No one does. There's about as much friendship and intimacy in those get-togethers as I have with my television. Dare I say, more people are choosing the TV for friendship while crying foul that they don't feel connected.
What about the woman who posted her suicide attempt on Facebook and succeeded because so few people responded. They knew everything, even that she had taken pills, but did not know what to do when a human at her most critical moment needed someone to do something. How come they didn't know?
Is it any reason Loughner or the many others out there who haven't yet reached his stage of distrust, loneliness or hopelessness are disturbed? Aren't you disturbed enough yet that the job of school Principal is becoming high risk? Or that guns are so easy to get that a man like Loughner can get one with ammunition within day of killing six people?
This generation, the informational generation, the generation with all this knowledge at the touch of a button, this Generation "Know", doesn't seem to know much.
Monday, December 20, 2010
NO TROY, NO PUNCH
Followers alike bless the Pittsburgh Steelers defense. It's a defense which has kept the Steelers alive and well despite their continued deficiencies on the offense. This Steelers team reminds me of the first few Steelers teams Ben Roethlisberger quarterbacked; a lot has to go their way to win a football game. Remember, that the Steelers team that won the Super Bowl showed the ability to come back, while previous teams did not. This one is much like that one.
You say how is that so? They're 10-4. They're a first place team already locked for the playoffs.
Sure, the Steelers have amassed a 10-4 record bashing down the likes of Tampa Bay, Cincinnati, Oakland, Miami, Tennessee and Cleveland. They barely beat Atlanta in Week One, pulled a fast one in Baltimore a few weeks ago, and squeaked by a Buffalo team that dropped the winning touchdown. Every other big game: New Orleans, Baltimore, New England and now the Jets, has seen this team fail to win on days where everything doesn't go their way. And the times things don't go their way equals a defensive lapse or bad special teams play. See the New England game. See the Jets opening kickoff return (the difference maker in their 22-17 loss Sunday). The Steelers have beaten teams with a combined winning percentage of .46 (64-75) and they've lost their four games to teams with a winning percentage of .745 (41-14). This team was 3-1 with Dennis Dixon and Charlie Batch behind Center. They're 7-3 with Big Ben behind center.
The Steelers offense, inept and predictable in almost every way, was finally called out on ESPN by analyst Jon Ritchie, after months of getting in their own way. Ritchie questioned the play-calling against the Jets, saying that Mendenhall was running all over the New York defense. How did he only get 17 carries? I think Jon let offensive coordinator Bruce Arians off lightly for not taking control of his offense based on what it was achieving. The Steelers red zone offense was ranked 28th going into the contest and only sunk lower after.
Let's go back to the Buffalo game four weeks ago, a game the Steelers deserved to lose. With 2:51 left to go, the Steelers got the ball back on their own six yard line, the gift of one Troy Polamalu. Buffalo has three timeouts left. So the Steelers get a couple of first downs, and the game is over.
They're backed up against they're own goal line, so conservatism is a much-supported theory on how to operate from here. However, it isn't like they have a quarterback the organization is nervous about. Ben Roethlisberger is now an elite quarterback in the NFL. He has two Super Bowl rings, one of which came at his own hand, guiding the Steelers from their own 12 yard line after a holding call 88 yards for the victory in the waning minutes of Super Bowl XLIII. He's 60-26 all time as an NFL quarterback in the regular season.
So what does the Steeler offense do?
Let's just say I sat on my stool at a bar and called the first three plays before they happened to the person next to me. Mendenhall to the right, 3 yards. Mendenhall to the left, 5 yards. Now third down, and what do you think Pittsburgh will do now? That's right, pass. They get a first down on this play barely. Then run the same two running plays to Mendenhall and Redman, forcing a third down and long. Naturally, Buffalo dials up the blitz, and Chris Kemoeatu gets called for holding, forcing the Steelers back to their 10 yard line. Screen to Mewelde Moore on third and 22 for 11 yards. And voila, the Bills have the ball back and tie the game to force overtime.
This cross-section of Steelers offensive ineptitude is microcosm of their season to date. I've watched the New England Patriots, a team whose winning percentages the last few years make them a franchise worth emulating, and even without a running game to rely on to eat up clock, they simply continue to attack you. They don't sit back and hand their destiny to someone else. They take it upon themselves to keep the defense off the field.
What does this all add up to? It's not about the QB under center at all. It's about Arians and the play-calling. The offensive scheme of the Steelers is so utterly predictable and limited that it forces the team into untenable situations. With an offensive line already limited in depth that's been beaten down by injury, as well as a QB that's now playing injured, Arians and (Big Ben's) desire to throw downfield seems counter-intuitive, and has often been counter-productive. When you consider the personnel the Steelers have, a passing offense designed to stretch the field is baseless. Besides Mike Wallace, who has blazing speed, this team has few receivers to fit that bill. Hines Ward is a playmaker, but only of short and intermediate value. Emmanuel Sanders is still learning, and is as undersized as Randle El is. In fact, the only Steelers receiver over six feet tall is Arnaz Battle, who doesn't have a single catch this season. Limas Sweed was the only other guy with size at six-foot-four, but he has no hands or discipline. Bruce Arians has lost the art of the screen, the one play he should have dialed up countless times for Willie Parker, a guy who was designed to run in space, not between the tackles. Instead, Parker was used as if he was Jerome Bettis, and the results were not surprising. It was only after Baltimore had stopped every other play in his book that on a third and goal, Arians gave Ben a slant pass option to Isaac Redman (a play that should have been considered on first down) that resulted in Redman's tour-de-force into the endzone to hand the Steelers a much-needed victory.
Between penalties and the inept design of the offense, should the Steeler defense go south at any moment during a game, the team will go with it. And until Arians can get his head wrapped around his personnel and design an offense that uses them to the best of their abilities, the Steelers will continue to struggle to score, no matter who is under center.
Meanwhile, the Steelers defense is tied for third with 40 sacks and is second in the AFC with a +14 Give/Take ratio. Sadly, with no Troy Sunday, the Steelers record just one sack and zero turnovers. Need more be said.
No Troy, no defensive punch. No punch on defense, no victory.
I hate to disappoint all those Steelers fans out there. As much as I will root for them, this team is not a Super Bowl caliber team.
You say how is that so? They're 10-4. They're a first place team already locked for the playoffs.
Sure, the Steelers have amassed a 10-4 record bashing down the likes of Tampa Bay, Cincinnati, Oakland, Miami, Tennessee and Cleveland. They barely beat Atlanta in Week One, pulled a fast one in Baltimore a few weeks ago, and squeaked by a Buffalo team that dropped the winning touchdown. Every other big game: New Orleans, Baltimore, New England and now the Jets, has seen this team fail to win on days where everything doesn't go their way. And the times things don't go their way equals a defensive lapse or bad special teams play. See the New England game. See the Jets opening kickoff return (the difference maker in their 22-17 loss Sunday). The Steelers have beaten teams with a combined winning percentage of .46 (64-75) and they've lost their four games to teams with a winning percentage of .745 (41-14). This team was 3-1 with Dennis Dixon and Charlie Batch behind Center. They're 7-3 with Big Ben behind center.
The Steelers offense, inept and predictable in almost every way, was finally called out on ESPN by analyst Jon Ritchie, after months of getting in their own way. Ritchie questioned the play-calling against the Jets, saying that Mendenhall was running all over the New York defense. How did he only get 17 carries? I think Jon let offensive coordinator Bruce Arians off lightly for not taking control of his offense based on what it was achieving. The Steelers red zone offense was ranked 28th going into the contest and only sunk lower after.
Let's go back to the Buffalo game four weeks ago, a game the Steelers deserved to lose. With 2:51 left to go, the Steelers got the ball back on their own six yard line, the gift of one Troy Polamalu. Buffalo has three timeouts left. So the Steelers get a couple of first downs, and the game is over.
They're backed up against they're own goal line, so conservatism is a much-supported theory on how to operate from here. However, it isn't like they have a quarterback the organization is nervous about. Ben Roethlisberger is now an elite quarterback in the NFL. He has two Super Bowl rings, one of which came at his own hand, guiding the Steelers from their own 12 yard line after a holding call 88 yards for the victory in the waning minutes of Super Bowl XLIII. He's 60-26 all time as an NFL quarterback in the regular season.
So what does the Steeler offense do?
Let's just say I sat on my stool at a bar and called the first three plays before they happened to the person next to me. Mendenhall to the right, 3 yards. Mendenhall to the left, 5 yards. Now third down, and what do you think Pittsburgh will do now? That's right, pass. They get a first down on this play barely. Then run the same two running plays to Mendenhall and Redman, forcing a third down and long. Naturally, Buffalo dials up the blitz, and Chris Kemoeatu gets called for holding, forcing the Steelers back to their 10 yard line. Screen to Mewelde Moore on third and 22 for 11 yards. And voila, the Bills have the ball back and tie the game to force overtime.
This cross-section of Steelers offensive ineptitude is microcosm of their season to date. I've watched the New England Patriots, a team whose winning percentages the last few years make them a franchise worth emulating, and even without a running game to rely on to eat up clock, they simply continue to attack you. They don't sit back and hand their destiny to someone else. They take it upon themselves to keep the defense off the field.
What does this all add up to? It's not about the QB under center at all. It's about Arians and the play-calling. The offensive scheme of the Steelers is so utterly predictable and limited that it forces the team into untenable situations. With an offensive line already limited in depth that's been beaten down by injury, as well as a QB that's now playing injured, Arians and (Big Ben's) desire to throw downfield seems counter-intuitive, and has often been counter-productive. When you consider the personnel the Steelers have, a passing offense designed to stretch the field is baseless. Besides Mike Wallace, who has blazing speed, this team has few receivers to fit that bill. Hines Ward is a playmaker, but only of short and intermediate value. Emmanuel Sanders is still learning, and is as undersized as Randle El is. In fact, the only Steelers receiver over six feet tall is Arnaz Battle, who doesn't have a single catch this season. Limas Sweed was the only other guy with size at six-foot-four, but he has no hands or discipline. Bruce Arians has lost the art of the screen, the one play he should have dialed up countless times for Willie Parker, a guy who was designed to run in space, not between the tackles. Instead, Parker was used as if he was Jerome Bettis, and the results were not surprising. It was only after Baltimore had stopped every other play in his book that on a third and goal, Arians gave Ben a slant pass option to Isaac Redman (a play that should have been considered on first down) that resulted in Redman's tour-de-force into the endzone to hand the Steelers a much-needed victory.
Between penalties and the inept design of the offense, should the Steeler defense go south at any moment during a game, the team will go with it. And until Arians can get his head wrapped around his personnel and design an offense that uses them to the best of their abilities, the Steelers will continue to struggle to score, no matter who is under center.
Meanwhile, the Steelers defense is tied for third with 40 sacks and is second in the AFC with a +14 Give/Take ratio. Sadly, with no Troy Sunday, the Steelers record just one sack and zero turnovers. Need more be said.
No Troy, no defensive punch. No punch on defense, no victory.
I hate to disappoint all those Steelers fans out there. As much as I will root for them, this team is not a Super Bowl caliber team.
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