NATIONAL FOOTBALL POST - EXPERTS DRAFT ROUNDS 9-16

I think most of us would agree in the fantasy football world that championships are often made or lost in the late rounds of a draft.  If you took a flier on Michael Vick in your draft last year, you probably won your league.  Same thing occurred if you took chanced Kurt Warner in 2008.  I think most would also agree that these are the most difficult rounds to gage.  Is it time to take that rookie receiver for a chance he'll turn in Randy Moss?  Do I handcuff my own running back with his backup or simply take another RB on a poor team.  Do I want a second TE, and is it necessary?  Where do I take a defense?

These questions run through every drafter's mind as he/she moves into the later rounds, and the right answer generally gets revealed only in hindsight.  Last year, the commissioner of one league I was in felt my team was destined for the playoffs right after the draft.  We got slaughtered.  Another time this same commissioner felt I had set myself up poorly for the post season.  I was the highest scoring team in the league.  You get my point.

Let's move on to Rounds 9-16. Again, I have capitalized my picks for easy skimming.



Heading into Round 9 I was not disappointed how things had gone.  I had hoped Austin Collie might go another round later.  He's been completely discounted this year due to his concussion problems last year, but people forget he was the league's leading receiver after seven weeks.  He has Manning's trust, and I truly believe if he remains healthy he'll be in the top twenty this year.

Since we get extra points on defense for limiting yards allowed and forcing fumbles, I figured an elite defense might add some help here. So I picked the PITTSBURGH STEELERS defense.  While the Steelers secondary is still an issue, most of last season Troy Polomalu was out, and Ryan Clark battled some injuries too.  They also get DE Aaron Smith back, who tore a muscle in his arm and was gone for all of last season.  Even with those problems they allowed the least rushing yardage of any defense, forced 24 fumbles and posted 48 sacks.   I expect the secondary to improve a bit this year.  A lot of people like Philadelphia to be dominant this year.  I suspect they'll be very good, but I hate that division.  It's a passing division, and high scoring one.  The AFC North is still mostly played on the ground and pound most finesse teams into the ground.  So I stuck to my homer nature and picked my Steelers.

I found my third receiver in MIKE WILLIAMS of Seattle.  Yes, I'm scared to death of Tarvaris Jackson throwing the rock.  But Williams' size is the difference maker here, and my hope is he didn't lose the edge to prove himself that he had last year.  He was definitely the best of what was left of the starting receivers.  He's a WR1 for Seattle, but probably will give me WR3 numbers.  Still, as a third receiver, I'll take it.

Round 11 I decided it was time for my backup QB.  In hindsight, I wish I had chosen him in Round 10.  Josh Freeman and Sam Bradford evaporated this round, so I took a flier on KEVIN KOLB.  Probably risky considering Stafford's ill health and Kolb's shakiness last year.  At least he has Larry Fitzgerald.  You could throw the ball into the upper deck of the stands and Fitzgerald would bring it down.  And if he turns out to be as good as some thought he was going to be in Philly, perhaps the Cardinal's offense flies this year.

In Round 12, I decided it was time for a little more risk.  Since I had a pretty strong receivers group, and I wasn't high on taking perennial disappointment Robert Meachem, or anyone in St. Louis since it's hard to know who Bradford will truly rely on, I went for BRANDON TATE of New England.  Look, Welker is solid, we know this.  But the recent press on the restructuring of Chad Ochocinco's deal so New England could release him with little penalty didn't seem like a good thing no matter how you slice it.  Chad should be huge this year, but it's possible he won't work well in a spread offense, and Brandon Tate (assuming he returns from his mysterious illness) has true down-field speed for the Pats.  Add that to the best QB in the game, and this felt like a strong flier to me.  I probably could have gotten him in any of the last four rounds, but knowing these guys, there's a chance someone would have beaten me to it.  That's the paranoia that gets into your brain knowing you're playing against solid competition.

I was hoping C.J. Spiller would survive the 13th and fall into my lap, but Chris Wessling struck again and took him two picks earlier.  I also had considered Jared Cook, who Brandon Funston grabbed here.  Even with Dallas Clark's injury being his wrist last year, I felt I should back him up, and took DUSTIN KELLER here.  This may possibly be my weakest choice in the draft. Sanchez may use him in the red zone but the Jets have loaded his plate with receiver possibilities, so much so Jerricho Cotchery left for Pittsburgh.  Hines Ward would have been better.  He went soon after.
A lot of rookie second and third string runners were plucked starting in Round 13.  I'm not as high on them as some were.  New England doesn't run a lot, so I wasn't really going to take Steven Ridley or Shane Vereen no matter how good they've looked in camp.  We're only ten teams deep, and BenJarvus Green-Ellis looked good enough last year, and then add wild card Danny Woodhead  to the mix.  I hate the Pats, but I love Woodhead.  The all-time yardage leader in collegiate football history is totally a Belichick type player: small, underrated, tough, 100% dedicated, heady and surprisingly strong.  I would not be surprised if Green-Ellis went down to see Ridley or Vereen get in there, but Woodhead will be just as involved.

However, I did grab BEN TATE in the 14th, hopeful that he'll actually get on the field this year (it's looking more dubious as each week progresses) and that the Texans are still on the hook for their second round investment in him.  I have a creeping feeling post draft he's not going to do much, not after this recent hamstring pull.  Hamstring injuries are common after surgeries to repair the legs.  Again, I was thinking a little gamble for high upside.  I look back and think why didn't I grab Burress here?   He was another guy I was targeting, figuring two years of non-contact could only help his ankle and foot problems.  Of course, a week into camp he sprained his ankle, so I could be wrong.

My handcuffs of James Starks and Brandon Jacobs were gone, so I grabbed someone else's.  LADIANIAN TOMLINSON seemed like a safe veteran pick here who still could be a BYE WEEK fill-in and put up some decent numbers.  The sting of not taking Burress must have hung-over here, so I went safe with a hope Shonne Greene isn't as good as I think he'll be this year.

A kicker in Round 16 wraps up the draft, and I just figured Dallas scores a lot, but for some reason even with their weapons, they seem to settle for field goals more often then they should.  They're also in a division with some pretty good defenses.  So why not DAVID BUEHLER.

There's no doubt I'm going to have to find another receiver if Brandon Tate doesn't appear soon.  And Ben Tate could also be another pick wasted.  Didn't like my Rounds 9-16 as much as 1-8, and if there's a place I could get tagged it could be my sudden lack of depth at receiver and even QB.

So the JUST A BIT OUTSIDE TEAM team after 16 rounds is:

QB Matthew Stafford
RB Ahmad Bradshaw
RB LeGarrette Blount
WR Greg Jennings
WR Roddy White
WR Mike Williams
TE Dallas Clark
FLEX Knowshon Moreno or Ryan Grant
DEF/ST Pittsburgh
K David Buehler

BENCH
Kevin Kolb
Ryan Grant or Knowshon
Ben Tate
LaDainian Tomlinson
Brandon Tate
Dustin Keller

NATIONAL FOOTBALL POST - EXPERTS DRAFT RESULTS ROUNDS 1-8

Last night, I was privileged to join the third annual National Football Post (NFP) Experts League draft.  Represented were ESPN, Yahoo!, CBS Sports, Hardcore Sports Radio, Fantasy Sharks, Rotoworld, NFL Gridiron Gab, NFP and the freelance SI.com writer, myself (Just a Bit Outside was the podcast I was doing all last year) - it may yet revive.  However, I digress -- it was 10-team, 16 round draft, standard scoring applies, except that we only lose one point per fumble and no lost points for interceptions.  We also get defensives bonuses for the number of yards given up and an additional point for forced fumbles.  Our starting lineups are QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, WR, TE, FLEX, D/ST, K.  For easy scanning, I have capitalized the picks I made.

So here we go:

I don't feel my job as an expert is to "call out" my cohorts on their draft strategies, as drafts take on a life of their own, and your perspective during a draft can change very quickly.  Rather, I will try to take you into the way I was thinking during this particular draft.  Pardon the imaging but I think you can make out the names and positions all right, and if you click on the image, I think it will enlarge for you.

Slotted in the ninth position in a ten team draft, I already had an idea that with these guys, RBs were going to be hoarded and I would have a tough first decision to make. Sure enough, the first six picks went that way.  Chris Wessling at Rotoworld chanced Michael Vick at the seventh overall selection, and Brandon Funston at Yahoo! took Michael Turner.  Now, I had already figured that none of my top five RBs would be available, but surprisingly, MJD was still around.  I found myself in a conundrum.  MJD is a terrific PPR guy, but I'm not as high on him as a pure runner, particularly in Jacksonville, where David Garrard is nursing a disc injury in his back leaving the rookie QB Blaine Gabbert to take the reins.  Take out any huge receiving threats, though Mike Thomas is a guy some are high on, and you wonder is anyone going to play the pass against Jack Del Rio's crew?  So I had a choice, take a possibly elite, returning-from-injury RB who might get a lesser load this year, or an elite WR.  I went with what I consider the best WR in the game in RODDY WHITE  Johnson's injury problems are the only thing that kept me away from him with this selection.  As of this posting he's already got a finger injury.

I was hoping MJD would go next so I would get my real favorite back this year, Darren McFadden.  However, as is apt to happen, Matt Loede of NFL Gridiron Gab "unLOEDE-d" me of that hope by selecting McFadden 10th and grabbing Andre Johnson as the first pick of the second round.  I decided to stick to my original strategy, because I had backs I was aiming for that I felt (and maybe wrongly so) had more upside at the place I'd get them.  Some will probably look at passing on MJD here as a mistake, but since this is a 3-WR starting lineup plus flex, I went with another elite receiver in GREG JENNINGS.  If Green Bay is going anywhere this year, they need him more than ever as Donald Driver likely will continue his decline, and James Jones and Jordy Nelson, while serviceable, don't scare a whole lot of defenses.

Sure enough, when the draft returned to me with pick 29, I selected AHMAD BRADSHAW as my first RB.  Then I followed it up with LEGARRETTE BLOUNT, the second guy I hoped to get.  Bradshaw is obviously an injury risk but I still love the way he plays the game.  He's aggressive, tough and explosive.  Blount scares everyone, mainly because he might let loose on you with his temper at any time, but five yards per carry and a 1000 yards in only 201 carries behind a decent Tampa Bay line in only 13 games and I'm willing to go with this upside play.  These were two guys I expected to fall to me, and planned accordingly from my mocks.  Let's hope I was right that they'll be solid this year. 

When pick 49 came around, I had no plan on grabbing another running back.  Originally I was hoping I might get another receiver.  When Dwayne Bowe, Marques Colston, Brandon Marshall and Dez Bryant evaporated, I went with DALLAS CLARK at TE.  Both he and Finley (who went seven picks earlier) are returning from season-ending injuries of 2010, and either would have suited me fine.  With Peyton Manning recovering well and expected to be under center, I'll take his favorite red zone target. 

My fifth round pick was going to be a third receiver finishing my starting group and making it incredibly strong in my eyes.  My hope was I would grab someone like Ryan Grant later, who is off everyone's radar this year.  I could have gone Wes Welker, and really wanted to.  But with KNOWSHON MORENO sitting there in the sixth round, I had to grab him.  He's a lock to start, and it's clear Denver will put Kyle Orton under center, making Brandon Lloyd and me much happier.  He averaged 4.3 per carry and had 8 total TDs.  I don't think McGahee or Lance Ball make a dent in his workload, and I expect that it will increase this year.  It was hard to pass up Welker, which might have made me receiver dominant, but I felt strong enough there to add another decent runner who could have upside.

One thing I didn't expect was the feasting on QBs that happened.  Five QBs went in the fourth round, even with the 4-pt TD scoring, including Schaub, Rivers and a favorite of mine, Tony Romo.  After that, there was almost no point in drafting one for the next few rounds, and I could have probably waited another round.  I was caught between Josh Freeman and Matthew Stafford.  I think Detroit has more upside this year if Stafford can remain healthy (a big "if" on that one) and continues to throw as accurately as they report he does.  So I chose MATTHEW STAFFORD.  I would have taken my most favorite underdog receive this year, Austin Collie, but Chris Wessling of Rotoworld took him before me.  In Round Eight, I found RYAN GRANT sitting around like I hoped and couldn't pass up the Green Bay starting running back.  Grant's known for starting infamously slow but for all his injury issues until last year's big knee/ankle combo, Grant has managed an average of 15 games 1000+ yards over three seasons.  He's only 28 and because this injury occurred in September is nearly a year out of surgery.  James Starks could easily steal away carries, but again, I'll take even the RB1 of a committee on the Super Bowl Champs this late.

So my team after eight rounds shaped up like this.

QB - Matthew Stafford -DET

RB - Ahmad Bradshaw - NYG

RB - LeGarrette Blount - TAM

WR - Roddy White - ATL

WR - Greg Jennings - GB

WR

TE - Dallas Clark

FLEX - Knowshon Moreno - DEN

DEF/ST

K

BE - Ryan Grant - GB

Rounds 9-16 will follow tomorrow.  Comments and thoughts welcome.

THE DAY AFTER -

6:30AM - I got out of bed.

6:45AM - I was outlining the chapters for my midterm.

7:00AM - I get almost done with Chapter 1.

7:30AM - Sidetrack #1 - I know I have a blog to write today.  Maybe I should get back into writing something about baseball.  It's been awhile. 
7:45AM - back to the outlines.  I get into chapter two and there's an interruption.

9:10 -AM interruption took way too long.  And I still am not dressed.  Haven't made it to the doctor either.  Oh well, time to blog.

So now I'm blogging about baseball, as the second half of the season begins today.  Six years ago, I had never played fantasy baseball -- the artistic community of Hollywood doesn't have so many sports fans -- not because I didn't want to, but because I knew few people who did.  Now it's 2011 and I'm an admitted addict.  I used to be in 5-6 leagues when I was writing about it.  Now I'm focused on one - an old style 4X4, which eschews the RUNS and STRIKEOUTS categories....  So closers now hold a ridiculously high position in your pitching agenda as SAVES is a 1/4 of the tally in the pitching world.  To that end, I traded some keeper value for Huston Street and Jose Valverde, along with acquiring Matt Holliday and Troy Tulowitzki while dealing breakout candidate Asdrubal Cabrera (yes, I drafted him), legless Buster Posey and Neftali Feliz.  Yes Feliz was a closer too, but essentially Troy replaces Cabrera and is likely to have a better second half, I strengthen my outfield adding Holliday to disappointing Carl Crawford and Tori Hunter, Ben Revere and Maggilo Ordonez.  I also have Vlad Guerrero who is good for the AVG. category and RBIS.  He subs in as a 5th outfielder or Utility player sometimes.  My starting pitching now has a stumbling David Price, now with turf toe (an acquisition I got for Nelson Cruz), Tommy Hanson, Ryan Vogelsong, Alexi Ogando and John Danks (i believe his rebound with continue in the second half)-- it's a young core that could be amazing for the second half.  My relief corps of David Hernandez, Huston Street, Jonathan Broxton (please make it back this year you velocity-stripped hefty bag) and Ryan Madson (also drafted). I also have held onto Johnny Venters, a genuine find because of his countless 0.00 ERA and .000WHIP lines that held stave off some minor disasters that occur with starters.  Both he and Hernandez have filled those gaps to keep my ERA lower than it could be.  I was leading the category until both Price and Ogando had two horrific starts in the last two weeks leading up to the break.  We'll see how things figure after. 

The one thing I look for in fantasy players is their ability to draft.  Acquiring someone via waiver wire is a skill too, but really it's more about having tons of time on your hands.  If you're the guy that foresees candidates that turn out great from Day 1, that to me is a testament of your ability.  Injuries don't count in that assessment.  But if you really planned let's say to take Lance Berkman this year because you doubted that he was done, then I commend you.  If you acquired him because you were first to your "unlimited waiver wire pickups" or got the biggest bid on him in your FAAB market, then eh, you got lucky.  The rest of my team I pretty much drafted -- John Buck at catcher with pickup Wilson Ramos.  Dustin Pedroia (keeper), Adrian Gonzales (keeper), Miguel Cabrera, Starlin Castro, Mark Reynolds (picked him up the moment I saw the power come back and dropped mega-disappoint Casey McGehee), Dominick Brown, Eric Hosmer and Shane Victorino.  I've also added the enigmatic Vance Worley - which guy will show up the walk machine or the guy who threw a 2-hitter right before the break and has an overall ERA under 2.7.  His overall K/BB ratio does not bode well for him to keep a low WHIP, but his last two starts he had a 14/4 K/BB and he's playing for the top-notch Phillies.  Wins are something I need.

My opinion is Carl Crawford will have a great second half if he gets back right away.  He's now more of an RBI candidate than steals guy, unless Francona moves him back to the #2 spot, and I don't see that happening.  Ellsbury is simply tearing up the joint, with Gonzalez plating everything around.  I don't know if HAdrian can continue to rule Fenway the way he did the first half.  He's going to hit a slump again at some point.  Be ready for it. 
So we're off today with eight games on the slate.  Minnesota and KC start a new series.  The last one Minnesota swept a 4-game at K.C.  I'm sure the Royals want some payback.  They face the ever puzzling Francisco Liriano, who has a no-hitter to his credit this year but probably the ugliest one in recent memory.  He also seems to be an inconsistent mish-mosh of quality starts and disasters.  If he has control of his fastball, much like David Price, he's deadly.  His slider doesn't have the bite it did when he first came into the league, but it's still a nasty pitch.  However, it's only useful when he can paint the corners with the Numero Uno.  At 5-7 with a 5.06 ERA it appears he is still an unpredictable pitcher.  However, keep in mind his BAA is the lowest of his career since 2006 at .227, and his K/BB is 70/45 in 83 innings, and he's still inducing groundballs at a 1.23 GO/AO, though not at as high a rate as you'd like.  The Twins offense also was anemic for most of the first half, with Mauer, Kubel and Young all on the DL at some point.  Ben Revere appears to have given the Twins a spark in the leadoff role and the guy runs a ton.  He also gets caught a ton, five times in 16 attempts.  That's a third, and those like me who saw how fast this guy is at the AFL hope it's simply a matter of pitcher study and timing than anything else.
Florida vists Wrigley, Baltimore gets Cleveland, Texas gets Seattle and Milwaukee gets the Rockies.  Yanks have Toronto and the Fathers visit the Large Mongloids in SF.
And my Pirates, well, they are over .500 at the break.  I can't tell you how many times I said to people on message boards Neil Huntington knew what he was doing.  And he does.   He's done a great job so far in rebuilding this team.

We're off for a second half of baseball.  Enjoy.

THE BACK OF THE LINE - IT STARTS

41 today.

41.

I woke up and it didn't feel a whole lot different, except that I had my lovely wife roll over after snoozing her alarm three times from 5:30 - 6:00 and wish me Happy Birthday.  How can a day start better than that?  Well maybe if a BMW 330i convertible rolled up in the driveway after I had won a sweepstakes that is now run by Pat Sajak in Ed McMahon's stead, that would be pretty good.  But I'll take my wife any day.  She's really so beautiful in the morning.  Her voice isn't quite full, and much like the morning grass, has dew on it and needs to shake it off to get the full effect of the sunlight.  It cracks a little and sometimes goes a bit raspy.  It's sexy and kind.  And for some reason has kind words to say to me a lot so I kiss it regularly.

Yes I'm going to the office today.  Most people take the day off for their Birthday.  I'm not quite sure why.  For me, Birthday's are a double-edged sword as they are for most people.  Sure, it's great to celebrate the fact I'm here.  In fact, as I sit in my dining room and listen to the birds sing, I'm pretty sure I caught a bar or two of HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR JON.  Who knew robins, thrushes and wrens could whip it into a frenzy?   Yet it's a natural reminder we aren't here forever.  (Somehow I'm beginning to think that I took that part in Jewish studies too far -- you know, where you learn that nearly all Jewish holidays have both happiness and sadness.  We celebrate yet are reminded of who is not here to celebrate - damn depressing sometimes).

Alas, I have to get my butt in gear to head to the doctor's office so they can take my blood.  Apparently, my pale skin isn't the only clue that I lack sunlight.  I'm now short on Vitamin D, and my kindly internist has sought to lend me some so I can correct the problem.  Now, if it would fix my English looking complexion, that would be something, and he would be a hero to all men Phillips.  I have a feeling he's more concerned about the internal implications (hey, he ain't an INTERNIST for nothing) and thus I need to measure my vitamin intake now. 

I'm trying to eat better I'll say that.  One, because I'm conscious enough to know that when the day comes that my wife is carrying our unborn child and we're walking the street together, I don't want to be the one mistaken as being pregnant.  Two, I've noticed that I now react to bad foods a lot more quickly.  I get a noticeable high off a few glasses of coke and then crash like a stalled Cessna later on.  I haven't even done XTC and I have a feeling though the extremes are greater, the result is the same, but probably with a lot more naked photos.

Tonight, my wife and I will get dinner.  Dinner is sort of the fall back social-ISM of the day isn't it?  Whenever you meet up with someone, you get drinks and/or dinner.  If you haven't seen someone in a long time it's "Hey, let's get dinner."  And while you're at work you'll often have a phone call with your spouse that goes something like this:

"Hey.""Hey."
"How's your day going?"
"Fine.  How's yours?"
"Fine."
"What are we going to do for dinner?"

It drives our society, which in LA by the way will come to a screeching halt Friday night around 8pm when they begin the rolling closures of the 405 Freeway.  They're calling it Carmageddon for those of you back east, and sadly, you've probably actually heard about it.  If you want to witness an example of a city which has lousy infrastructure topple into some chaos, get ready.  Now, the question in my head is, if you're a foot thief, what a weekend this is for you?  I mean, what cop can really chase you?  Well, they'd have a hard time in a car at least?  Your worst fear would be that a cop gets smart and decides to bike it or just go after you on foot while you're running with a television.  Other than that, you don't want to have to report a burgulary or any sort of crime this weekend.  If you ever had the thought 'where's a cop when you need one' this weekend isn't a time to put that to the test.

I'm actually praying since the local news is so fascinated with police chases, that someday we get to witness a bicycle cop chasing another dude on foot, who then picks up a bike, and we cut to the on-the-scene reporter standing there saying:

"I'm in Venice, Jane, where this chase has been going on for nearly twenty minutes now and has reached speeds of nearly five miles per hour!"
I'm taking a second real estate class, only three years or so after the first one.  Hey, they don't expire.  I aced the first one, and this one, Real Estate Appraisal, isn't so hard.  Just a lot of terms and common sense.  Got to hit the books soon.  Back to studying for a midterm.  And here I thought that was all behind me.

41.  The big FOUR, ONE.  Forty-one.  Four and one.  41.  I remember in second grade sitting with Patrick Zubrow and David Moltz and giggling about how we'd be 30 in the year 2000.  We never calculated past that, probably because we couldn't add that far or we didn't think that was funny.  41.

Today is the day.  Happy Birthday to me.  I guess I should shower.  41 and stinky is no way to go through life.

 

THE REVENGE RULES

Call me crazy here, but I'm thinking these Al Qaida dudes don't quite understand the revenge rule.  I mean, today they vowed revenge for Osama bin Laden's death, something we didn't exactly need an article on to know was coming http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110506/ap_on_re_mi_ea/bin_laden_al_qaida, but I'm thinking they need a lesson on how to exact revenge.

One of the first rules about exacting revenge is you can't START the fight.  See, if you start the fight, the responsibility for revenge falls directly on the shoulders of the initial victim(s).  That's how that works.  It's kind of like a Thank-You note.  A person sends you a gift, you write them a note.  If they then, in turn, write a 'Thank You' to your thank you, then you could start an endless circle that just goes over and.....

The second rule of revenge, even in the most biblical of senses, is generally an eye for an eye.  You took my rubber duckie, I'm going to burn you at the stake, does not work even in the most anachronistic ways.  Even with collateral damage, the Al Qaida dudes, while mega-astute in Koran passages, seem to have skipped math class.  See, we lost over 3,000 people, not to mention the amount of folks we had to send overseas, and who died fighting in essence, because of you.  You lost one dude, albeit a big one, and some of his family.  His wife hadn't left the compound for years, which means she had to be miffed -- she never got to shop.  And believe me, she didn't stay with Osama based on his stability.

The third rule of revenge is that if you're actually going to seek revenge for a vengeful act that was revenge to begin with, the best thing to do is not send overly, crazy-sounding bold statements when you're now running for your lives.  We heard these before, and as the American press repeatedly proves, if you shock people with the ridiculously dramatic statements long enough, it ceases to arouse any measurable response equal or greater to  the original statement.

"Soon, God willing, their happiness will turn to sadness, "their blood will be mingled with their tears."


I don't like mingling fluids generally.  I have a rule against this.  Get more specific, and I don't mean give everything away or lay all your cards on the table, but if you're going to be credible without your leader, give us an idea you know something we don't.... like our mother's maiden name, or how many licks it actually takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, or where Hoffa is buried.  This would likely scare the be-jesuits out of us all, because no one knows where Hoffa is buried, and you'd have to have a pretty good lay of our country's land to know this.  And you have to have patience beyond anything Americans could ever grasp to lick your way to the Tootsie Roll center.  That's discipline.

I just think these Al Qaida dudes never picked up the rules.  It's like they were on the school playground when they were little, and no one explained the rules of tag to them.  Truth is, no one thought they had to -- you kind of just pick it up by watching or playing.  But clearly someone needs to tell these dudes that revenge isn't what they're doing now.  It's more like they're crying over their own spilled milk.

OUR WORLD

If we could just give a little,
and forgive a little,
stand still a little,
just chill a little,

Be alive a little,
and strive a little,
to plan a little,
to take a stand, a little,

Don't hang your head a little,
make your bed a little,
reach down a little,
stand your ground a little

Find your heart a little,
a fresh start, a little,
to look deep a little,
inside peeps a little,

Reach their soul a little,
find your soul a little,
and discover a little.
we're all aligned. a little,

                     to make a whole new world.

REQUIEM AFTER A WEDDING

Odd Title.

How Jon can you have a requiem after a wedding? Wedding's are life affirming. Weddings are about beginnings and the future, not the past. Weddings are about completion, making a half, whole. Certainly you're not mourning your own wedding, are you, you dork?

Calm down dear reader in my head, my wedding was wonderful. The people in attendance were of the highest caliber. The wedding party was made of the best friends anyone could ask for. And my wife is as lovely a woman as there is on this planet.

All events great or small conjure memories from the past; people gone too soon you wish could have witnessed it and the surprises that come from, in no small part, the people you believed at your core would be in your life for this moment and sadly are not.

I lost a friend recently. And when I say lost, I don't mean that as in he departed this world. No, we departed each other's lives. It's often hard to admit that while these kinds of transitions happen all the time in the world every day that one particular loss or another can have such an effect on a person.

For those that remained at my wedding, they heard me point out that we as humans rarely get to see the affect of our actions: our kindnesses, our impetuousness, our abruptness...we almost never see the outcome of our words or actions. In the case of my wedding, we were seeing just that, as Amy's friend had emailed my profile to her on an online site and that's what led to us finding each other. The point was this was a rarity, and we rarely understand how we affect other people daily. A kind word there, a terse word there, they all have an impact that compound into each person's mood over the course of days, weeks and months.

When you lose a friend you expected to be a part of your ceremony, to be there with you for such a defining moment in your life, the loss is even greater. There are people whom you come in contact with that are blinded by their own genius. Let me tell you, this guy is funny. I've met some funny people in my life, but he was a genius at it. Quickest wit I've ever heard... he was always one of the first to the punch, and more often than not it was cleverer than I ever was without forethought.

As a creative type who has yet to be "discovered," I think I felt a kindred spirit of sorts in our mutual struggles with business politics, the powers that be always choosing the bottom line over the people that got them the bottom line to begin with, and our love of sports, live or online. The bummer about knowing your talent lies in the written or spoken word is that the people you have to often go through to get the masses to see it don't even have time to read it. Sometimes they don't read it at all, instead relegating it to someone younger who can't even understand it. Sometimes, they just want their weekend to be a weekend, and not full of reading. And the more you write, the less excited you get sometimes about it, knowing the steps you have to take before you'll ever get any sort of readership. You work a marketing job, you complete a campaign, and you see your work out there. You write a book or script, and most times no one gets to see how much work you put in. And the creative juices start to falter in the frustration.

Women might not understand that coupled up men don't have many relationships often where they get on the phone with their friends and talk, shoot the breeze, and do it for more than a five minute typical call of --- "Hey, wanna grab a beer?", "OK." Certainly, our calls with another guy don't often last more than 10 minutes tops. My calls with this guy never involved a beer -- they just involved funny. Everything was funny. Nothing was off limits and all of it was hilarious. That's what I remember and cherished; truly free speech about all sorts of things and for me ideas seemed to burst forth from my cluttered mind out of these conversations and all things seemed possible again.

For me, our abrupt parting of the ways was like a death in the family. And I miss him. I miss our mutual trips to visit each other. I miss our yearly trips to ball games. I miss the creative infusion of possibility; the geyser of ideas that would spring to mind was something that I always felt was a most cherished gift I received nearly every time we spoke. I loved him like I would a brother - I rooted for him, cheered for him, and wanted to introduce him to every person I knew as my friend. It was a friendship I was proud to have.

At some point in all our lives we outgrow friendships, or we just decide we've had enough, and we plow forward, leaving all of it behind. However, if it is true we are the combination of all of our experiences, then every person that comes into our lives has some sort of effect on us, be it positive or negative. And they leave and/or fill vacancies that our family and spouses can't. Friendships that provide something for a sustained period of time are indeed special, and their vacancy isn't easily filled like an empty parking spot. Even when we know they are now in the past, some vacancies just aren't filled, and taking the time to remember that is apropos, as sometimes it is a way of acknowledging our feelings as being OK to have, even if they may not have been returned the way we wished it.

So my requiem is for that vacancy in my life that he once filled. It hasn't been refilled, and it may never be.

But I'm still better for it.